The Talk
by Poohdog
Summary: Logan and Ororo have been recruited to give Jamie "the talk". No, no not THAT talk. The one about his, dun-dun-duh, GRAMMAR! One-shot


**I don't own x-men evolution and I know this story is random. Please read and review anyway?**

Logan and Ororo stood outside Jamie's room, their eyes nervously darting between each other and the door. This was certainly a conversation no one wanted to have with Jamie. "It has to be done," Ororo said, looking up at Logan. "He has to know and who knows where else he could get the information if we don't tell him straight out." Logan nodded and slowly reached for the door. Why had Charles assigned them this task? Wouldn't it have been easier for him to do it? Wouldn't Hank be better for this job, more kid friendly? But of course they had both found convenient excuses and since Professor Xavier thought it best to have both Logan's flat out truth and Ororo's kind, calming air, both instructors sat at the door.

"You ready?" Logan asked, right before he turned the door. Ororo took a deep breath and nodded. "Kid, you in here?" Logan called gruffly.

"Yeah. Hi Mr. Logan," he said cheerfully. "Oh, and Ms. Monroe," he said, seeing his other teacher. Jamie was sitting on the bed playing a game of cards with a group of his clones. The sun shone through the window, giving him a slightly angelic look. So innocent… now. Oh why did they have to have this talk with him?

"Jamie, do you have a minute to talk with us?" Ororo asked.

"Sure," he agreed eagerly. Both of them sighed. They had been hoping to delay this further. Jamie looked at them suspiciously. "Am I in trouble?"

"No," Ororo assured him.

"Should you be?" Logan growled. Jamie looked away.

"I plead the fifth." Logan looked at Ororo. Ororo looked at Logan. Jamie looked at Jamie who looked at Jamie who looked at the Jamie looking at Logan and Ororo.

"Jamie," Ororo began. "It's time we have a little talk about your personal pronouns."

* * *

"My- my pronouns?" Jamie said. One of his clones shook and Jamie reabsorbed him. Now there were only three Jamies, the original and two clones. Original Jamie was getting up to lead the way out the door. "You know maybe I um- I um do have something go-going on and-"

"Sit, kid," Logan commanded. Orginal Jamie sighed and sat down on the bed again. They glared at each other for a moment, Logan making sure the Jamies stayed in place.

"Let's start with the first person," Ororo interrupted. All parties involved seemed grateful for the interruption, at first. "Now when referring to yourself, Jamie, original Jamie, what do you say?"

"Um- um- um- I don't know!" Jamie wailed. "I'm too young for this! I don't want to have this talk! I don't wanna!"

"Calm down kid," Logan told him. "Let's make it easier. What if it's just you and none of your clones?"

"Then- then I use 'I', right?" Jamie asked, his eyes desperate to escape.

"But what if you're with your clones?" Ororo questioned.

"W-we. I use we. No, no, we use we because we're with our clones now?" he attempted. Ororo and Logan shook their heads.

"Don't use 'our'," Ororo instructed. "It's always your clones. Your clones don't have clones."

"Yet," Logan muttered. Ororo glared at him.

"What!" Jamie exclaimed. One of his clones rubbed his hands together excitedly.

"Hank thinks your powers might further develop," Ororo told him. "And then we'll have to have- to have this little chat again."

"No!" Jamie yelled. "No, no! Don't make us talk again!"

"I'm sorry, Jamie. I'm so sorry," Ororo told him. Jamie was near tears.

"Let's just get on with it kid. Use it in a sentence. Tell us a sentence about yourself."

"M-my name is Jamie. His name is Jam-"

"Stop, stop!" Logan hollered. "Okay, you can use our just not when directly referring to your clones. Try again."

Nervously Jamie opened his mouth. "Our names are-"

"Jamie, it's one name, not multiple," Ororo chided.

"Our-our name is Jamie. I have clones. We are clones."

"No, no! Jamie, you are not a clone so don't use we!" Logan interrupted.

"But-but-"

"We don't get it!" one of the clones filled in. Two of the Jamies were in tears. The other one was staring out the window and whistling "The Candyman Can."

* * *

What seemed like days later, Ororo and Logan came out of Jamie's room looking simply exhausted. The talk had included many tears from Ororo, Jamies, and Logan. It had been deep and thorough. Shyly, Jamie had begun asking questions. Finally, it was done.

"I'm going to kill Chuck," Logan growled. Ororo, her mind traumatized by the event, nodded.

**Review, please? You can have a Jamie clone!**


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